I was brought up to think that being a woman, my duty was supposed to end in the kitchen. Of course I had a degree and a career ahead of me, but, I felt my husband would need me to be at home more constantly, especially to cater for the needs of the home and the children so when I got married and my husband suggested that I be a stay-at-home wife, I did not object especially since he promised to cater for all my needs. There and then, the journey to full time “housewife-ship” began.
A year into my marriage, I had taken in, had a boy, two years later, he was followed by another boy. I felt so fulfilled, my mother would always say that one boy is better than ten girls and so giving birth to two boys, my husband and his family were so proud of me. Atimes I would even compare myself to Werima my “bestie” and course-mate in school who was hell-bent on pursuing a career. I would advise her, every time she visited, that work wasn’t meant for a woman and that she should calm down and let her husband provide fully for her. But did she listen? Of course not. She would merely burst into giggles and lecture me saying that the 21st century woman is meant to be independent and bla bla bla.
Anyway, I didn’t want to be lectured, I had enough of that when I was in school. I just wanted to give my family the best they could get from me. But I have found out that being a full-time housewife is in my words “very deep”
This is my story:
“Kome!!!” “Kome!!!” Tunde screams. “Yes honey, I am coming” I reply, the way he screams my name, you would think he was in labor, in no time I am in front of him. “Where are the shoes I am supposed to wear to work today?” he asks “I have told you times without number to always polish them the night before so I don’t have to ask you in the morning, now I would be late to work. If I am sacked due to lateness, how am I supposed to get money to feed you and take care of your expensive needs?” “I am sorry honey” I start, “I would…” “oh please, don’t honey me” he retorts, “just polish them while I have breakfast and hurry up your children so I can drop them off at school because I don’t have money for cab this morning.”
I polish the shoes and rush off to pack the lunch for the children. You are surprised right? I had the same shock on my face the first day he asked me to polish his shoes, but I thought I was just helping him out that day, little did I know, that it would become a chore along with others he lined up for me. Dare to disagree and he would give a lecture on how he works tirelessly and how I am too lazy to help out.
“Bye mummy” the children call out to me. I am brought back from my thoughts. “Bye Fredrick, Bye Desmond” I and my husband had decided to give our children only English names, as we didn’t want any problems arising from the fact that we were from different races.
I remember when I met Tunde. He was the best thing that happened to me. I was madly in love and so was he. We had fought hard for our love because both our parents were against us being together, due to the difference in ethnic group. In the end, we won, our love won. But the man I live with today, that is not Tunde. I desperately want Tunde back, I want the love, the care, the attention, everything that was at the beginning. How do I do that? How do I get him back?
This is just the opening part which would continue every Tuesday. Plus I have a new video on my YouTube channel titled Nigeria In 4 Minutes I hope you do enjoy it. Permit me to say happy Independence in advance.