It is said that from the moment a lady meets a man whom she likes, she is already building castles and planning the number of kids they would have, and so forth.
She unknowingly asserts herself on the guy and unknowingly chases him off, just after a couple of dates, and that is if she even gets as far as that. I have been guilty of this in the past, as well as many other ladies, but then, the thing about life is that you learn as you grow.
So what exactly have I learnt?
1. Express your most positive self: There would be enough time later (when you guys are closer) for him to know about how loudly you snore, how forgetful you are, etc. The first couple of dates is the time for him to know only the good things about you. In a fight, you do not punch yourself do you? Of course not, so, do not start off telling him about how badly your fart smells, of course he knows you fart, you are human after all, he just doesn’t need the details. Honey these things would scare him away, so instead tell him how good you are at basketball, how much you love to take the IQ test, how much you love Jesus etc. Just good and positive stuff.
2. Please don’t call: Yes, this is very important. So you guys had an awesome first date and you want to call him for what? Sister, you gave him your time which you could have spent doing something else, having fun with your friends, reading, improving your life one way or the other so the least he can do is call you to show you he is appreciative of the time you gave him. And please do not sit by your phone waiting for him to call you, get busy with your life, go on other dates, and hang out with family and friends. He would call you when he would call you, a day’s time, a week, a month, a year, doesn’t matter, just don’t call. After the date, thank him there and then and move on with your life. If he calls, Fine! If he doesn’t, Oh well!
3. Be scarce: I cannot over emphasize this. No matter how much chemistry you guys feel, he doesn’t want you all up in his business every day, every minute. He has a life too, he has friends he needs to hang out with, so girl, give him space, let him miss you. The space would help him decide if he really wants to be committed with you or not.
4. Let him chase you: This goes in line with the last point. Let him do the chasing, let him strive to impress you, let him open the car door, let him source the venue of the date, let him pay for your meal e.t.c Guys want to impress, let them. Don’t offer to pay when he takes you both out, don’t lean over to open his own side of the door when he opens the car door for you, and don’t rack your beautiful head over the venue of the date. Don’t, don’t, don’t. Let him do all of that. By giving your time, you have given more than enough. Don’t be too eager to please.
5. Be appreciative: Trust me, nothing is worse than a woman who doesn’t appreciate a man’s efforts. You don’t have to roll over or go on your knees. A simple “thank you” would do. He is trying to impress you so let him know you appreciate it.
6. Don’t give him advice: Don’t give him unsolicited advice instead ask his help for something(not money, he is not your father!!!), you could ask him to help read an article you are writing, or help with an order, men need to feel like they are needed. So even if you are “miss independent”, let him help you out with something.
P.S Don’t forget to smile, he loves your smile even if he might not say it.