Like most people in the world, I would have said all, but I’ll be wrong to assume that everyone believes that with a new year comes good things, and good changes..but anyway I’m part of the majority.
I remember starting this year with prayer points, I didnt have too many actually, the 2 foremost being; one, I asked God for academic excellence because my professional exams in medical school was to be around February/march, and I was to retake it the 3rd and last time; two, I asked for good health for myself and family. To show how bad I wanted these, I joined the beginning of the year prayer and fasting that my church declares every new year, and I was determined to fast the whole month, something I’ve never done. In case you were wondering, it wasn’t dry fasting -__-; just the routine 6am-6pm, or 6am to 12pm as was my own case(cut your coat according to your size).
January moved fast, or so it seemed, with me fasting and praying and reading in preparation for my professional exams in February and march. Albeit I had to eventually stop the fast, because of poor health at that time, but I never stopped praying. Why so much fuss about an exam right? You may ask that if you’ve never heard of or experienced the professional exams that medical students have to write before you can move to the next level/class. It was even more scary for me because I was already repeating a year because I didnt pass the exams the first time, most of my mates had moved on to year 3, but I had stay back in year two.
Fast forward to March, the exams came and went, after weeks and weeks of not sleeping well, tutorials and the likes, and if you ask me how it went and if it was really hard or not, I’d say it wasnt as hard as I thought it’ll be and I felt I’d do ok in the end. Anyway, then came the well deserved holidays, 2 or 3 months long, although in actual sense it is the waiting period for the results..so of course I went home, and began my holidays, with all the perks of staying with your parents and all the plenty house work, it was really not too enjoyable, but I tried to make the best of the situation, counting days to school resumption.
I was determined not to let my holidays go to waste, so i started learning fashion designing, which I eventually stopped much later on.
April came and went..May, was my lucky month, because happiness came to my life, yes I fell in love, or maybe I was in love long before then and I didnt know it, but a relationship I didnt really plan on having yet, happened, planned or not, the main thing is that I was happy.
Around may or june, I got a call from my friend, she said, “Hello Elsie, the results are out and you didnt pass biochemistry”..and that was the beginning of my problems..because it meant that I was going to leave medical school. My world shattered. I couldn’t believe it, 4 years of my life with nothing to show for it, where do i start from? How did God let this happen to me? How do I continue to live under the same roof with my parents knowing that I had failed them? With all the money they had spent for the four years I’ve been in the university, what about all my friends and relatives who had already booked me down as their future dentist? How do I keep on answering to ‘ so how is medical school treating you’ ?..you see I don’t remember much of the following 3 or 4 months after that, because it was spent in depression and sadness and crying myself to sleep and accompanied also by a strained relationship with my parents, which has only just begun to mend recently.
But you see God has never promised that in this life we won’t experience storms and bad times, all we really need is that he goes through All this with us. I’ve always thought my relationship with God was okay and that I love God sincerely, but all these were tried during these times,and I must say that God takes a whole lot of shit from us and yet he still blesses us and gives us things we dont deserve, God saw me through, he spoke to me through his word so many times, and even sent people that I never expected to help me and encourage me. I especially want to thank God for my mum, my best friend, who took time to always come and visit me at home, I love you ella, I also thank God for the man in my life who is always there to pick my calls by 1am at night when I’m crying and I can’t understand this cup that wouldnt pass over me, he’s been there for me and I thank God everyday for him..and to everyone else that supported me, my friends, and my guardian, I pray for everyone of you as much as I can.
In other related things, after all these challenges, good things happened, first, my relationship with my mum is so much better, I can talk to her about alot of things I mean alot, she even asked me one time if I had anyone special, LOL, a trap though, which I dodged artfully and gracefully like a Nigerian rat. This year also, after my relationship with God took a new turn, I decided to be more consistent and active in my church work force, which i’m even enjoying.
This year also I turned 20, which was a big deal for me, because its just old age from now on I think, people will begin to expect things from you when you enter your 20’s, things like big achievements, marriage etc. I spent most of that day reflecting and thinking.
I dropped a lot of so called friends this year because sometimes you dont need the extra luggage. I’m preparing to journey into a new stage and era of my life and I want to travel light. I’m writing this knowing that even though come 2016 I’ll be on a different path career wise, and way behind all my plans and expectations, but it’s also a new beginning for me the way I see it, with God on my side, leading me and preventing me from striking my feet against a stone, I’m looking forward to a better year, I have come to the end of the tunnel and I can see the light, the brightness of a future secured in God’s hands.